End of 2009...

Another year, folks.

I can hardly believe it. I have been in Lethbridge for about a year and a half. Who would have thought that I would be spending my young adult life here... I certainly didn't. This year I don't feel like I have accomplished a whole lot. I moved back in with my parents about this time last year, and have been here ever since. I have saved a lot of money being back at home, so shout out to my parents! 

Other than that, only a few major changes I guess. I got a second job at a Bridal Boutique in September, thinking that I would work there and La Senza alternately to make a 40 hour work week. Turns out La Senza was a total drag compared to the excitement of brides... so I quit the lingerie business and moved up in the fashion world; totally a smart move.

My love life has been a rollercoaster. I can compare it to my first time on one actually... kind of thrilling as your buckle in, butterflies and anticipation to start, and when you come out of the first major drop in the track it actually doesn't excite you at all, it actually does the exact opposite and you realize that the particular amusement you thought you'd find doesn't have a promising future in entertaining you and the exciting butterflies in your tummy seem to be trying to escape through your esophagus. A little graphic perhaps, but I think that it gives a clear mental picture. So to put it short, I stood in line at a few rides, gave my ticket and buckled into the seat, but have realized that I had the exact same feelings as I did my very first time and so I walked away from it. Maybe this fall will have some luck for me.. which brings me to my next exciting thrill of 2009.

I am going back to BYU-I. I applied for the Distance Education program, will take a few classes during each semester through online correspondence. In September 2010, I will be back in Rexburg and hopefully working full time at one of the many Bridal Boutiques down there (cause heaven knows that is once business that thrives...) and continue to take night classes. January 2011 I will be back as a full time student with a full day time schedule of classes, and hopefully some fun and socializing in the evening. Exciting. Yes. I am finally back in the game.

Thank you 2009 for a great kick in the pants, but it's officially time to get in the right gear and burn some rubber!

Hello "I think I have finally figured a small segment of my life out" 2011!!

BYU-I? Are you still there? Why?

BECAUSE I'M FINALLY COMING BACK!

Yes, folks... it's true. I have finally made a decision. Lets hope this one sticks, because it feels like the right one. I think I am on the right path this time. Back to Rexburg, the place I love... the place that feels more like home than Alberta. I miss it every single day, I wish that I were there at school...

I wish I could have been who I am now back when I first started at BYU-I. I know I would have had plenty more success... but I guess that's just the way life is; right?

So raise your non-alcoholic beverages to a toast. A toast to BYU-I, and this hopeful heart of mine searching for the right place to be.

Cheers!

Probably the best Sunday EVER!

So, today I taught my usual Gospel Essentials class at church. As I was setting up in the Relief Society room, I was told that I was being moved to "Room 18" because Gospel Doctrine was getting too big for the other room and so it was being split into 2... and people were coming to Gospel Essentials even though they are strong members of the church and already know the essentials. Not a big deal right? Wrong.... Room 18 holds 15 people. At first I was pretty disappointed. I was hoping to have a nice big class. For some reason, the more people, the less intimidating it is to teach. Turns out, I was just being prideful... thinking that I was such an amazing teacher that I deserved a bigger room for all the people that usually come to my class.Turns out, I loved the smaller class. It was way more intimate, everyone learned new things and the spirit was totally strong.

Another reason why today was so good was because..... drum roll please..... I think I have a plan for the next 8 months of my life. I have decided that I want to go to Russia to teach english to small children for 6 months... starting in January. I have already applied just to see if I can get in! How amazing would that be!?!?!? Traveling, teaching.... what more could I ask for. I am slowing finding my calling in life. Maybe one day it will just appear... but until then, I plan on flying around the world and teaching kids to speak english.

NICE!

Just another ordinary day...

Turns out, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. 

And I mean NO IDEA.

I look at some girls who take a 2 year diploma to be a nurse. Yeah, I could do that... but I don't think i'll enjoy it. I could be an interior designer, in fact, I already know I can get into the program because i've been accepted once. But then I backed out. I could go to school for early childhood education or the culinary arts because then i'd be a really good mom... but I want to do more. I just don't want to follow the rules. Bummer, eh?

I'd love to write for a living, unfortunately for me the Lethbridge Herald is all full of casual columnists and has no more vacancies. The college here has a creative writing course but its an evening non-credit class. Chances are i'd be in a room with a bunch of creepy middle aged men who like poetry and young mothers looking for a night away from snot and diapers. Not exactly ideal.

I like to paint, but I'm not that good.

I like to take pictures, but I am not patient enough to learn about lighting and all that stuff.

I like fashion, but I would hate to have to sew it all.

I like talking, but there is no paid profession for that.... unfortunately.

I am a dweeb. And there is nothing I can do about it. Guys don't really want to be my boyfriend, and girls don't seem to want to hang out with me on friday nights. I work when I'm scheduled, have an institute class every wednesday, am in two YSA choirs and I teach Gospel Principles every 3rd Sunday in addition to going to my morning Ward Missionary Correlation meetings. Hello Karma? Are you out there anywhere?

Gah. I think it may be hopeless.

On the bright side, I don't have to worry about turning people down on friday nights if they are going bowling, because lets face it... bowling is a very awkward sport. After throwing your 3 balls down the lane, there is that 8 foot walk of shame off the platform back to your uncomfortable plastic swivel chair covered in glow in the dark stars. I don't see the appeal. Besides, those shoes they make you wear are hideous. I also get to sing in my car at the top of my lungs to any song i'd like, as many times in a row as i'd like. I don't have to worry about anyone complaining about the song OR the volume. That is Heaven.

Anyways, it's hard. Life is hard. I am ready for a break through, or a change of scenery. I just wish things didn't cost money.. no wait, I just wish I had a disposable income.

Whoo! I just had to vent. But, alas, the vent is shut and i'll keep all my hot air to myself... then maybe my bedroom wont be so cold.

Halloween!

So, this halloween was a little different! I have a boyfriend, so we decided to go as a couple for halloween too. Well, acutally, I had already decided that I was going to be Belle from Beauty and the Beast.. so when Chris and I started dating, he didn't have much of a choice. It was either Beast, of the transformed Prince. Of course, he chose the Beast. So after a little shopping and a little sewing, our costumes were complete. 

                                

So, pictures 2 and 3 are my, scarfing down some Ichiban before I got ready. My mom thinks I look asian, and I do! That bowl that I am eating out of is the exact bowl that my mom ate out of when she was my age. Weird!! Oh and take a look at that thick pony tail of mine... it's fake. I know, you can barely tell!

There are not a whole lot of pictures from halloween, because as you can tell, there are no pockets in my dress, and I was no about to carry my huge camera around allllll night. Besides, Belle didn't have a camera.

This next picture was taken on Monday, Nov. 2 at Chopstix! It was Seth's birthday and this is where he wanted to eat! So Seth, my mom and I went out to eat. Caleb had to work, Sean is in Tofino and Dad was on a business trip! My mom went on quite the photography tirade and decided that Seth and I were her models. This is the best one, and as you can see, Seth and I really took the theme of the night to heart. 

Cheese!

                                      

Why yes, I am a Bridal Consultant!

The life of a Bridal Consultant. Think: TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress". That is my life, full time, 5 days a week!

Yes, it is quite the job. Possibly the dreamiest job I have ever had...in fact, it is. 

For the romantic dreamer that I am, I must say... this job is fun! At first I thought that I might feel that sad, alone feeling by working with brides who were anticipating the happiest day of their lives, followed by an eternity with their "special someone's". But, I am so busy that I don't even have time to stop and think about it! I have officially worked a total of ten shifts at the bridal shop. I have sold three bridal gowns to first time brides... which basically means, they walked in the store for the first time and after about an hour or so, they were walking away with a newly purchased bridal gown (0ver $1000), in which case I received a nice little bonus with each dress! I must say, this place really knows incentives! 

So, a lot of people think that as a Bridal Consultant... I consult the bride on everything about the wedding. False. I only help her with dresses, shoes, bridesmaids, their mothers, veils, tiaras, alterations and jewelry. That's it.

I think my most loved part of the job is when you pull a dress for the bride after about 30 minutes of trying on gowns that she has picked for herself and put your choice on her. An even better feeling is when she loves it... and so does her family. Today, I had just that. I had a gown pulled for this gal... she put it on, stepped on the podium and started to cry. Shortly thereafter, so did her mother, two sisters and best friend. I put a jeweled headband, necklace and veil on, and this poor girl had no chance. We stood in front of the mirrors, all 5 of us chatting about the dress, passing tissues around and doting over how gorgeous she looked. It was the first shop she had been to since her proposal, she was from out of town, and she was getting married in a whole year. But this dress was divine, the right price and she looked drop dead gorgeous! So, 20 minutes later, we had her gown ordered, bridesmaids dresses picked out and a happy (and soggy) bride.

Now that's what I call a good day at work!

And so it begins....

Well, it's that time of year again. School's back in, Institute starts, the weather starts getting colder and the pressures start to loom.

As a year has officially passed since I first moved here to Lethbridge, I figure it is time for a little recap/goal session. When I first moved here, I was living in the top floor of a small (and I mean teeny, tiny) house. It was one of those cookie cutter houses... you know. Beige walls... beige carpet, beige laminate in the kitchen and bathroom and pine cupboards. Interior design at its best. Ahh...the creative minds. Along with myself, there were 4 other permanent residents and one girl that stayed thursdays-saturdays (her boyfriend(then)/husband(now), lived in town.. and she did not). So three bedrooms. Two singles, and the master was shared. In the master bedroom. There was, and can I get a drumroll please; Nikole-Double bed (against the wall), Janae-Twin bed (Against Nikoles bed) and Myself-Sleeping bag (on the floor, in the 4 foot space that was vacant from the edge of Janae's bed and the other wall). Not only was I against the wall, I was also behind the door...you see, the door was built on an angle. So the one corner of the bedroom was chopped off. It was cozy. Oh, and the girl that lived there on the weekends? Well, she slept in the bed with Nikole. So there were 4 of us. It was magnificent.

Alright, so those were my living conditions. Other than that, I started working at La Senza in the mall...once November hit I was transferring to the North Side Location of La Senza on the basis that I was promised a promotion and a raise. December came, parents moved here and I upgraded from the floor, to my very own bed... and room! Although the first night, I couldn't sleep in my new house. So, reverting to what I knew best from the previous 4 months, I slid off my bed, onto the floor, buried myself in my blankets and promptly fell asleep. Huh.

Unfortunately, it has been one year since moving here, and other than the two paragraphs above, I cant recall anything majorly exciting! Remember that promotion/raise I mentioned above? Never happened. With many prompts to head office, supervisors and managers...empty promises were all I recieved! So, after waiting around and mindlessly selling, ahem...un-mentionables, I decided to take matters into my own hands! I got myself a second job!

Yes, a second one. Hopefully I can stay on board with La Senza part time, but that seems to be all up in the air. My theory is that the company is unsure of what to do with an employee who is not a floater. Im honest, dependable and do way more that I should for the money I get, yet unfortunately for me, integrity doesn't mean a thing to these corporate robots. Used to a high turnover of half-baked and Barbie brained teenage girls, when confronted with a mature lady (if I do say so myself...) they freeze like a turtle who's lost its shell (deer in headlights is so over-used). So I wont be seeing a wage increase (due to the "economic crisis"), although they can afford to keep buying hideous clothing that nobody buys (ie: velour leopard print bras...and panties with feathers and fringes...yes both). It is quite the mystery to me.

With that said, I have officially been hired as a Junior Bridal Consultant (soon to be senior, I just know it!). I basically help brides find "the perfect dress", accessorize them with shoes, veils and bling... cant forget the bling. After that, I outfit the bridesmaids. Figuring out styles, sizes, fabrics and colors. 3rd priority is Mother of the Bride/Groom....all their dresses are mossy green with shoulder pads... BLEH! So anyways... it should be a fun job.

As for my second year in Lethbridge, I forsee many things. I am counting on "making bank" so that I can finally pay off that pesky school loan, save up for a reasonably dependable car, take some classes at the local college but still remain in full time sales and then probably around this time next year, write another blog.

I know that blogging is a one way communication until the comments start flowing, I am going to just jump on this subject, because after being in YSA for a solid 2 years, I feel like I could teach a flippin' class on everything you think you need to know about "it" until you actually get to "it" and then discover everything you think you know is crap. This "it" I am talking about is Marriage. Yes...things are still the same. Monthly lessons on eternal marriage. I am not 'dissing' the significance, but I definitely don't feel as inspired about the topic as I did when I first heard it in YW's when  I was 14 and just starting to recognize the other gender as more than just hair pulling, snotting, stinky monsters. Unfortunately boys haven't changed, and neither have the lessons. Im just saying.

Well, that is it. I'm signing off. Tomorrow is another day at work... just about tipping the scales at 45 hours this week. You'd think I'd be living in the Swiss Alps in my own house by now. I feel like I should retire! And that I will do. I am retiring to bed, hoping to wake up to a bed full of money and the laundry on the floor turning into love letters from 15 (or more, my room is a little messy) eligible bachelors from around the world, waiting to take me out for mini golf and an ice cream cone.

A little bit of passion...

So, I just finished a wonderful book.

"A Kiss from Maddalena" by Christopher Castellani

It was such a good book. Based in Italy during World War 2, it follows the longing of a young couple, Maddalena and Vito. Their forbidden love is hindered by war, broken promises, and family matters. It was a beautiful story of determination....but in the end, all the characters settle. They don't settle for their original intents, rather, they settle for things that do not make them happy.

I just have to say, my life may not be perfect...but I will not marry someone who I do not absolutely adore. This book reaffirmed that for me. I know this book is set in a time when family reputations were put in high esteem, but I cannot say that I would deny myself utter bliss for the feverish pride of my family. No offense. 

I reccommend this book, though. A wonderful read! But, if you are single and looking for your eternal partner, this book may cause a little tugging at the heart strings, thats for sure! It is full of romance, but there is a heavy dose of reality as well.

Still, I am so happy where I am and who I am with......so, as the hopeless romantic I am... I will continue to hope, dream, and pray for my happily ever after, for eternity. 

I've realized something completely impossible about myself....

I am 'a hopeless'.

Well, I suppose I should get a little more specific. I am a hopeless romantic.

I know people say it all time, and I wish I knew those people, because then I, we, could empathize together. I mean, how does one cure this infectious feeling? One day, I am completely fine...satisfied with my daily routine. Waking up, having eggs for breakfast, working 8 hours and then returning home. Spending my nights usually alone in my bedroom, thinking, doodling, surfing the internet...mostly just trying to figure out where I want my life to lead to... and then one day, WHAM. It hits me. One late night, staying up a ridiculous amount of time past my regular bedtime, watching a romantic film that I know will put a fork in my road. But do I look away? No. I become absorbed in the romance, the story, the fairy tale.

Not to say that my own story is not in the process of being written... but it seems like I am at the 19th chapter already and still, nothing particularly mind blowing has happened. Where is the climax? Where is the suspence and action? I mean, I have had my moments...but where is my Prince Charming? And why has he not arrived? I do not ask for a ring, nor do I plead for a devotion of His love for me... just an outstretched hand, ready and waiting to take mine for an extended period of time. It seems like most people around me have short stories. Their stories are how life should be. Things happen in perfect order, spaced out neatly for a completely satisfying read. Like, one of those books you pick up at the Library and just know you're going to like it after you've only read the title. 

I am like that book, the one that has been worn up until the 217th page.. and then the rest of the pages lay crisp, waiting to arrive at the willing eyes of a reader looking for a heart warming tale. I am not a cookie cutter, and for that, I guess, reluctantly at times, I am grateful for... but as I watch 12 of my friends this spring, become wed in faithful and everlasting matrimony.. it seems but a small thing to ask....just for Him, my Prince Charming to be here, with me.

I sort of feel like Repunzel.. where I am waiting in my tower, except when I look out of my tower, there I am , surounded by countless other stone turrets with peering and patient ladies. Hair long and braided...waiting for their prince. My hair is short, and I am doomed to wait for it to grow longer and longer, until finally I can start the second lifetime, or so it seems, of waiting...

I peer out, across the horizon in front of me, to have my heart skip a beat when the silhouette of a young man riding a tall, dark stallion rides into view...only to have him pass my tower by and retire at the base of another tower. Sighing, I watch the whole thing unfold before my very eyes...the butterflies, the loving glances, long embraces and silly smiles, all of which I wish to have as my own.

So when? I ask myself this day after day, time after time. And all I have to do is push through, sit tight, and wait. Patience is always said to be a virtue. My question is...what if I don't want that one? What if being patient just is not my lot in life? Am I meant to be eager and anxious for all of eternity? 

I know this is a test, and when I find him, my patience will be at its best. I will have been calmed and made whole through that very silhouette that will become the image of the man I always dreamt of, the ending to my long novel, the very bursting in my heart.

A sorrow that has burdened my heart for a few years, which really is not many at all....will be lifted. One day, I can rejoice at the very sound of the one so familiar as to call me His.  And we will be a beacon to one another. A friend, a love, and a hopeless romantic.

And what happens if I we've already found each other, and just don't know it quite yet? How's that for a cliff-hanger?

The End.

It's a new day :)

Alright, folks. 

Here it it. A new post. For all of you wild fans(mom), I am sorry for the wait.

The real reason why I wait so long to post is because I forget, and because there is nothing horrible new that goes on in my life. Since November, there has been Christmas, New years, Valentines Day, St. Patricks Day, and then a few fun saturdays thrown in there. 

I figure that facebook is a good enough bridge between the friends from afar and even the people I don't see or talk to on a daily basis. I have to admit, the real reason for the birth of this blog was solely for my mom while I was down at school so that I could communicate to her without a 35cent charge every minute. So with that said, now that I live back with my parents, there seems to be no need for it. But, I will try my best to keep up with this. Although I will never be "P.W." and I will never be able to host fun contests for all of my readers or send out freebies, I will try, with the lyrics of my life, to entertain you.

Fin.