I've realized something completely impossible about myself....

I am 'a hopeless'.

Well, I suppose I should get a little more specific. I am a hopeless romantic.

I know people say it all time, and I wish I knew those people, because then I, we, could empathize together. I mean, how does one cure this infectious feeling? One day, I am completely fine...satisfied with my daily routine. Waking up, having eggs for breakfast, working 8 hours and then returning home. Spending my nights usually alone in my bedroom, thinking, doodling, surfing the internet...mostly just trying to figure out where I want my life to lead to... and then one day, WHAM. It hits me. One late night, staying up a ridiculous amount of time past my regular bedtime, watching a romantic film that I know will put a fork in my road. But do I look away? No. I become absorbed in the romance, the story, the fairy tale.

Not to say that my own story is not in the process of being written... but it seems like I am at the 19th chapter already and still, nothing particularly mind blowing has happened. Where is the climax? Where is the suspence and action? I mean, I have had my moments...but where is my Prince Charming? And why has he not arrived? I do not ask for a ring, nor do I plead for a devotion of His love for me... just an outstretched hand, ready and waiting to take mine for an extended period of time. It seems like most people around me have short stories. Their stories are how life should be. Things happen in perfect order, spaced out neatly for a completely satisfying read. Like, one of those books you pick up at the Library and just know you're going to like it after you've only read the title. 

I am like that book, the one that has been worn up until the 217th page.. and then the rest of the pages lay crisp, waiting to arrive at the willing eyes of a reader looking for a heart warming tale. I am not a cookie cutter, and for that, I guess, reluctantly at times, I am grateful for... but as I watch 12 of my friends this spring, become wed in faithful and everlasting matrimony.. it seems but a small thing to ask....just for Him, my Prince Charming to be here, with me.

I sort of feel like Repunzel.. where I am waiting in my tower, except when I look out of my tower, there I am , surounded by countless other stone turrets with peering and patient ladies. Hair long and braided...waiting for their prince. My hair is short, and I am doomed to wait for it to grow longer and longer, until finally I can start the second lifetime, or so it seems, of waiting...

I peer out, across the horizon in front of me, to have my heart skip a beat when the silhouette of a young man riding a tall, dark stallion rides into view...only to have him pass my tower by and retire at the base of another tower. Sighing, I watch the whole thing unfold before my very eyes...the butterflies, the loving glances, long embraces and silly smiles, all of which I wish to have as my own.

So when? I ask myself this day after day, time after time. And all I have to do is push through, sit tight, and wait. Patience is always said to be a virtue. My question is...what if I don't want that one? What if being patient just is not my lot in life? Am I meant to be eager and anxious for all of eternity? 

I know this is a test, and when I find him, my patience will be at its best. I will have been calmed and made whole through that very silhouette that will become the image of the man I always dreamt of, the ending to my long novel, the very bursting in my heart.

A sorrow that has burdened my heart for a few years, which really is not many at all....will be lifted. One day, I can rejoice at the very sound of the one so familiar as to call me His.  And we will be a beacon to one another. A friend, a love, and a hopeless romantic.

And what happens if I we've already found each other, and just don't know it quite yet? How's that for a cliff-hanger?

The End.

It's a new day :)

Alright, folks. 

Here it it. A new post. For all of you wild fans(mom), I am sorry for the wait.

The real reason why I wait so long to post is because I forget, and because there is nothing horrible new that goes on in my life. Since November, there has been Christmas, New years, Valentines Day, St. Patricks Day, and then a few fun saturdays thrown in there. 

I figure that facebook is a good enough bridge between the friends from afar and even the people I don't see or talk to on a daily basis. I have to admit, the real reason for the birth of this blog was solely for my mom while I was down at school so that I could communicate to her without a 35cent charge every minute. So with that said, now that I live back with my parents, there seems to be no need for it. But, I will try my best to keep up with this. Although I will never be "P.W." and I will never be able to host fun contests for all of my readers or send out freebies, I will try, with the lyrics of my life, to entertain you.

Fin.

It seems I only blog when I fall ill...

So, there has been some pretty great recent activity happening in the life of me...my life.. this thing I call my own.

Halloween happened. It was pretty funny. All my roomates and I dressed up as the Spice Girls! It actually turned out pretty awesome. We all fit our part so well. Becky has red hair and a sassy attitude, so obviously, she was Ginger Spice. We also found this shiny dress that was a Union Jack flag. Awesome, no? Nikole has dark curly hair. So, we put it in corn rows, left it for a few days and then took it out and hair-sprayed it until it was HUGE! Then she took it to the next level and put dark face makeup on so she looked Black. Then she dressed herself in head to toe leopard. Legit huh? Janae has baby blue eyes and long blond hair. Just guess who she was. Yup, you got it. Baby Spice. Then Sarah, the sporty one dressed up in track pants and a t-shirt. I was so jealous. I was Posh Spice, so basically, all black, uncomfortable stilettoes, and dark makeup. The best part was when the DJ at the Dance played "Stop Right Now" and all 5 of us got up on stage and danced in front of 300 people. It was so rad! By the end of the night, we were getting compliments all over the place and none of us could stop talking in British accents. Mine was the best, but thats just my opinion. Haha. By the end of the night. I was so ready to be a slob. I hunkered down in a t-shirt and a bowl of halloween candy in my lap.

Last Saturday, my friend Sarah got baptized. We just recently became friends. It was such a blessing to see her so happy. I know that she knows who she is. That is truly a wonderful thing to witness in the life of a close friend.

Next was...hmm, let me see. Oh yeah, it was the Masquerade Ball. Some girls in my ward organized this huge party. It was so awesome. You had to have a mask and be dressed in formal wear to get in. It was so much fun. All of us dressed up and looked super good! A friend of Nikole, Janae and Sarah's came up from Utah to see Sarah get baptized. Greg taught Sarah her first discussion. It was cool for him to come. Oh, and by my persuasive ways, he danced. It was quite something! Haha. I hope you are reading this Greg, hahahaha.

Now, for the great news. I got promoted. As you know, I currently work at La Senza in the mall just as a Team Lead, but there is a new store opening up. It's going to be a super centre. Now, I am being transferred but that is not all. I am going to be the Assistant Manager of the store. Which totally rocks my socks off. Hello pay raise, hello awesome resume. Hello world, welcome your newest business savy lady! I'm a workin' woman now!

My Birthday

So, I recently had my 19th birthday, my golden birthday no less. It was quite a time. I was back in Lethbridge and my best friend, Becky was back in Regina. It was just ridiculous. I was a little bummed that she was gone. BUT, it turned out to be pretty good. I woke up on Saturday and did pretty close to nothing. I Shopped, slept, showered and then went out. It started at Moxies. I met up with my long lost friend Katie, Cole, and then two guys, Kyle and Doug who I had never met. It was fun. I got a brownie with a sparkler in it....which went out before I could get my camera out. Boo. After that, we went to The Slice. It's a pub with live music. It was super chill. Some more people showed up. A lot of them I barely knew but it was great.

The music was super, the people were awesome and the night was just beginning. After a few hours at the slice we went to Red Dog Diner to get some hot dogs and then it was back to Cole's house. We watched a movie, chatted and then it was back to my house. I didn't get into bed until about 4:30 in the morning. It was ridiculous. But amazing. Needless to say,the night was really good. Happy golden birthday to meeeeeeeeeee!

The Flu...

Yes, it is infact true. The flu has taken over the better part of my body. It all started Sunday night. I went to bed feeling a little under the weather, but then realized it was more when I was still lying awake three hours later in the same position. Monday morning rolled around, and I still felt horrible. Monday afternoon came and still, I felt sick. Then, twenty minutes before leaving my home in Saskatchewan to start the journey west, it was worth it...or so I thought.....

I crawled to the bathroom, and released what I thought, was all of the sickness and pain from my tummy. But then half an hour later it was back and I was laying in the back seat of the 4-runner trying not to move. So, 7 hours later, I arrived home to Lethbridge, went to bed, woke up the next day and went to work. Not smart. I lasted through work, and felt good enough to pop a few extra-strength Tylenol and see some friends. Also, not smart. I went to bed and again...could not sleep. This time, I actually only got 2 hours of unconsciousness. I mean, literally. I actually watched my digital clock change from one hour to the next until about 6:30 am when I finally fell asleep to be awoken at 7:47 am by my roommate going to school. And there you have it folks. A temperature of 102 and an empty stomach. That's my kind of Wednesday.

It's has come to my attention.

Wow. Life is actually looking up. I recently applied for a better job, and now its the waiting game. I am really hoping that I get it.. I mean, who doesn't want 2500$ a month???? Exactly. This upcoming weekend I am seeing my family for Thanksgiving! I almost didn't get it off work.....because my boss is... well...not the sharpest tool in the shed, if you know what I mean...

Regardless she gave it to me off..... I think it's sort of funny when girls feel they need to set 'boundaries' early on. I mean, when my boss gave me Thanksgiving off, I figured that a week later, that wouldn't change... but for some reason she felt the need to take me in the back room and re-iterate that she did in fact give me the weekend off, making it seem like it was a huge stretch one and it was comparable to taking a bullet to save my life. I mean... who does that anyways? OH well.. I suppose I did get it off, so I shouldn't complain.

Other than that, life is pretty good right now. I have things somewhat planned out. Hopefully life goes according to the plan. Chances are it wont, but to be honest, I am never really in the mood to think up a back-up plan. I figure, I tried, and if it doesn't work, then I will just start praying a lot more frequently.

As for my love life... it is practically non-existent; by my own choice of course. Sure I would love to have a companion and such, but I am doing alright with just my friends and family. I have options that I could pursue if I really wanted to, but for the first time ever, I don't want that. I like just hanging out right now. It's nice that I don't have to commit, even though I would like to...because I know that I have no problem committing at all.. I just don't feel like it right now. I have that right.......right? Anyways.....it's just nice that I can just be, who I want to be.

So, this morning, I dropped my laptop on my left foot. I thought it was broken, but there is just a wicked bruise and a HUGE bump. I figure thats good enough. Anyways, I just had to say that.

I don't think that there is anything else exciting to report about....my life really just goes on, day by day, same old same old.....

Oh, I am getting farther in my book though! I wrote 2 more pages.. so I am up to....almost 40.Pretty amazing. It will probably be published in about 6 years.... I figure that is a good time line... no pressure. Anyways....the end.

So, it has infact been over a month since the last post. I realize that for my only fan, (thanks mom) that this may infact be close to sin. So, I have decided, among other things, to revive the blog. Why not, right? I mean, it is not a huge burden, and in some ways it is a true escape from this life I call mine.

Currently I am living in Lethbridge, Alberta. I came home from BYU-I and then I was off again to Alberta to live and start my life until my family was supposed to join me as planned. So far, I have been here for almost 2 months and no sign of my family. I am living with my long time BFF, Becky. We are in the upper level of a split in West Lethbridge with 3 other girls. Basically, this place has the square footage of my apartment shared by one girl and myself down at school. Somehow we manage to fit 5 girls in here. I am not sure why none of us have gone crazy yet, but so far so good. I sleep in the back bedroom on the floor beside two girls who have beds. The three of us share 2 closets....if you can call them that. 1 Fridge, 1 Stove, 1 T.V. It is pretty ridiculous. I feel like I am in a hostel, or......an orphanage. I can say that because I dont have a bed and I live out of suitcases. Haha. It is humorous. I am glad that I can laugh it off, because other wise I might just sleep in my car.

I have a great job at La Senza...I am management and I am a qualified bra fitter! WOOT! It is actually such a fun job. I get a lot of laughs from that place, which keeps me sane. The only thing is that its hard to work with females all day, and then come home to females. It can be a little estrogen-pumped. I am so grateful for Taylor, an important part of my life.....He keeps me level. Also, the guys that live in our basement, Phil and Andy. They are great guys who are a lot of fun. It makes me miss my brothers, but it's nice because if I don't want to see them, I just walk around the house and up the stairs and I am home. Sure, I can hear their surround sound and their NHL 09, but its worth it.

Well, thats all for now. There is a lot more in my life, but I am choosing not to sulk. In a nut shell, the guy I want to be with is moving in a week, 6 hours away. It is probably the hardest thing I have ever gone through.....but I know its the right thing for him, and so I support him. I guess all I can ask for is strength and frequent phone calls.